You've heard it before. It's not what you know it's who you know. And it's very true. But the thing is, I absolutely, positively hate networking. Even more, I avoid networking events like I avoid bad music. With all my heart and with my full conscious effort.
My biggest problem with these things, is that most people tend to see them as an opportunity to acquire as many business cards as they can. There is rarely a thought as to whether they themselves are really adding any value. So what ends up happening is that you get a room full of people trying to use each other. And of course, that also means that there is very little authentic and meaningful conversation.
You see, there is something very unsettling to me about small talk. And consequently, I am not very good at it. So typically, I end up being extremely bored and restless.
But I must network yes? I must get help because there is no way I'm getting anything done on my own. And this is where the trick comes in.
I don't bother "networking" anymore, instead, I try to build relationships with people I find interesting, and who I think are doing interesting things. And I make it my mission to help them in any way I can to achieve their mission. I find this much more satisfying, much more honorable, and much more fun. And this is the cool thing about people....When you help them out in this way, they help you out. Not because it's a tit for tat deal, but because both parties are engaged in a mutually beneficial relationship that extends beyond the next favor.
So, be brave......tell me your mission(by email or post it up). What can I do to help?
By the way, Daniel Mark Harrison has a very interesting take on the whole networking thing here.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
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7 comments:
Absolutely. It's all about 'sincerity', wich is actually where the small companies consistently get it right where the big companies get it so wrong: where there is a (genuine and sincere) will, there's a (successful) way.
I think what this all boils down to is that the participant has to genuinly get a kick out of the networking. Relationship building process. Bill Gates never formed MSFT because he thought IT was the right kind of industry to be in, after all, he did it because he had a dream ...
... the problem with networking events is that the 'dreamworks' aspect is all too often completely forgotten, and the thing becomes a nightmare ...
Yes i definitely agree with the fact that many people use networking for their own personal gain forgeting that the only way the network can grow and be successful is if all members contribute to it's growth... there's a qoute from ??? that says "if you want to make yourself happy make someone else happy first" and this is true for networks too... increase the value of the network and you will prosper.
An alternative and fun example of networks happened on my blog the other day. I recently published an article titled: "In Search of the Future: Google Vs. Microsoft" which was a kind of short anlaysis of Google's overvaluation in the market.
A high-profile blog called "YARGB" picked up on my piece and offered it as a link on an alternative aspect. As a result of this, I received a ton of commentary and criticism and it incited a real debate ...
... Anyway, this is what I mean by valuable networking: exchanges of ideas, thoughts, working process and practice ... all void of the banal PR-like spin that so commonly permeates people's objectives.
Self-interest is fine - the above conversations were all self-interested to the point where you could hear the ego screaming out ... as long as it offers something up.
And I think that's the point that many people miss. To be self-interested is not necessarily to be selfish. For when you are authentic, and authoritative as a result of being interested in your "self" in the first place, it is inevitable that you will have something to contribute.
But the problem comes when there is a lack of authenticity. And so you are not in a position to show let alone give anything meaningful. And when you are in a room where this is the rule....it's not a nice place to be.
If you are 'self' centered, you will wanna check out this book: Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty by Harvey Mackay. Most of the points that you and the commentators make are further elaborated by Mackay, who in my opinion, is one of the most 'connected' indivduals on the planet.
My take on networking: I enjoy it immensely, perhaps because I make a point of finding something to love about everyone I meet. Yes, this can sometimes be quite daunting a task. I also make a point of never taking myself too seriously.
On a different note, Fred, you ask what you can do to help? Are you sure you want to hear the answer?
You got it right - you might not call it networking, but it's exactly what you're doing, and doing well.
Networking is not about amassing contact info of people you don't care about, it's exchanging ideas and favors with people you find interesting.
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